


Comfort from Your Lancers

by Demial



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/Zero, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms, Fate/stay night: Unlimited Blade Works (Anime 2014)
Genre: Comedy, Comfort, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Menstruation, Napping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 08:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18362633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demial/pseuds/Demial
Summary: Your two roommates are your boyfriends, lancers Diarmuid and Cu Chulainn. They get along well. I thought it would be funny to write something where these two don't know what periods are.Might add more chapters that are comfort-related.





	1. Chapter 1

You chatted casually with Cu Chulainn, him puffing periodically on a cigarette. He nodded more often than he puffed, listening as best he could while also deeply admiring your naked figure. His silver earrings bobbed as he hummed. He slouched lazily, bare-chested, and with a pair of loose shorts hanging off his hips just to cover the necessary bits. A soft bulge protruded from the front. He loved your body.  
  
He pulled the cigarette from his mouth, his eyes squinting.  
  
“Master?” he asked.  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Are you…bleeding?”

You bent down and found period blood oozing down your inner thigh.  
  
“Shit!”  
  
You bolted to the bathroom to get some toilet to wipe yourself before it dripped to the floor. You were kicking yourself for forgetting what day it was when all of a sudden, there was a banging at the bathroom door. Both Diarmuid and Cu were outside, shouting frantically at you.  
  
“Master, we brought bandages! Let us in!” Cu called.  
  
“Should I call emergency services?!” Diarmuid asked.  
  
“No-”  
  
You were about to open the door when it blasted off its hinges, knocking you onto your butt and thankfully the bathroom rug, not the hard tile. Both boys charged in. Cu pushed the bandages between your legs in an effort to stop the bleeding. Diarmuid was asking if it hurt.  
  
“Of course it hurts! I have cramps,” you tried to explain.  
  
Diarmuid took your hand. His gaze went up and down your frame, searching for more wounds.  
  
“Cramps?!” he asked, alarmed.  
  
“Get her to the bed!” barked Cu before you could explain further.  
  
Diarmuid picked you up bridal style, while Cu held the bandages flush with your vagina. Unfortunately, the movement had the side-effect of your tender midsection folding inward.  
  
“No! Ow!  _Put me down!_ ”  
  
“I must protest, Master!” Diarmuid said. “You should rest.”  
  
You groaned. You let them place you on the bed. When you tried to hop off, to get a tampon or a pad, they promised to keep a supply of fresh bandages to soak the blood instead. That’s when you had enough and ordered them to stop.  
  
“Guys. Do you seriously not understand what’s going on?”  
  
Apparently, they did not. Both men had come from a time where it was common to hide such things from them. You explained as best you could what was happening with your body.  
  
“Ahhhhh, that’s gross,” said Cu, with his tongue sticking out, when you were done.  
  
“It is unfair that women shoulder such a burden that men do not have to,” declared Diarmuid.  
  
“Well, at least she’s not pregnant.” Cu shrugged.  
  
Diarmuid chuckled. “True.”  
  
You grabbed Cu’s rattail hair and tugged gently to get his attention.  
  
“Guys! Stop laughing and get me a tylenol.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah,” Cu agreed offhandedly, going to obey.  
  
You were let off the bed this time attend to your ‘leak.’ You went back to the bed to collapse on it with a soft “Ow.” You whined incoherently for a bit after that. Diarmuid sat on the bed next to you, rubbing your back.  
  
“Master,” he said, worry in his amber eyes. He wanted to help but wasn’t sure what to do.  
  
“I’m just going to sleep it off,” you replied.  
  
He hummed in acknowledgement.  
  
You rolled over onto your back and closed your eyes. Not long after that, you found yourself closed in by two warm men joining you for your nap. Cu lay on his tummy and went right to sleep. Diarmuid lay on his side, facing you. He stayed awake a little longer, watching you, before he yawned and his eyes closed.  
  
“Wake us if you need something,” he mumbled. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes just writing fluff for sweetie Diarmuid is comforting ;_;

Diarmuid could cover his love spot when he went out. Sometimes he didn't feel like it. Those days, you stayed in and watched movies together. You took turns picking the movie. Diarmuid always chose an action movie with a good romance embedded in the story.  
  
" _God_ ," you always said during the romantic parts, hitting his arm softly, "It's so mushy!"  
  
He would smile and say, "It is giving me ideas."  
  
"Pffft."  
  
"Ahhh, I agree," added Cu. He's shovelling popcorn into his mouth across the room. "Good thing the action is good."  
  
Cu didn't understand why you and Diarmuid didn't just have sex on these days. Days when he was at work while you two were home alone. It was actually the affection and cuddles that satisfied you. Diarmuid would often hug you tight and remind you he loved you. He would have a sad look that softened when he got the affection he wanted.  
  
Sometimes, two of you just laid on the sofa or in bed. When the days were sunny, the sunlight lit his face and hair beautifully and he caught you staring quite a few times. That always got a chuckle out of him.  
  
Other times he would jokingly ask if that's all he was, a pretty face to make the house less ugly. Cu would snort if he was home to hear that.  
  
"You can bullshit with the rest of us," he'd say.  
  
Being with you guys brings out the little bit of wickedness in Diarmuid. You assumed it was because he was happy in the house and you grinned each time you saw his own wicked grin.  
  
"It's your fault." You point at Cu.  
  
"Mhmm!" He nods enthusiastically. "You have to know when to laugh things off. For example," he said, "last night, Diarmuid ripped a big one in his sleep last night. I couldn't laugh it off then because it would have woken everyone up."  
  
"Oh, gawd," you groaned.  
  
"A story...I hope...goes down in my legend..." Diarmuid said meaningfully and gave a mock bow.  
  
"It would certainly lighten your legend up," remarked Cu.  
  
"I have a chance to write a new story, thanks to you two. Thanks to _you_ ," he said, taking your hand and pulling you to his body.  
  
Effortlessly, Diarmuid could reduce you to a blushing mess. And Cu would stare at you with a predatory grin, come up behind you, and wrap his arms around you both, squishing you between them.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> inspired by the way Diarmuid held Grainne in Fate/Zero. Hold me like that, Diarmuid, plz!!! ;_;

Diarmuid noticed your miserable state. Your miserable, irritable state. When you responded immaturely to his verbal attempts to offer help, he took matters into his own hands. He took _you_ into his own hands.  
  
He held you tight to his body and hummed. His cheek on your hair. You tried to pull away and stay angry but he held tight.  
  
"No," he said very, very gently.  
  
That broke your defenses. You started to cry into his shirt. And then sob.  
  
"It's okay. It's okay."  
  
"I-I'm just so frustrated, D-dia," you told him.  
  
You wound your arms around his ribcage and squeezed.  
  
"I know."  
  
Cu came home from work that moment, with some takeout he had grabbed on the way. Diarmuid gave him a meaningful look and Cu quietly put the takeout on the kitchen table. He padded over to you two. His hand came to rest on your upper back.  
  
"Need me to beat someone up?" he asked.  
  
"No."  
  
He chuckled. Of course not.  
  
"C'mon, let's eat." He beckoned you both to follow him to the kitchen.  
  
"That sounds good," you said.  
  
Diarmuid let you go then. You sat at the table and ate. The food filled your belly and soothed you. Partway through, you reached across the table to Diarmuid. He took your hand and gave you a smile.  
  
Cu watched this, knowing you were taken care of. He would have felt jealous and left out but he was too tired from work. He offered to cuddle you after dinner as his contribution. Something that would make you both happy. The two of you burrowed under all the blankets together in the bed, warm, and comforted.


End file.
